Amazing power of love and encouragement...

Thank you for all of your comments, e.mails, and love as you have shared your own journeys and thoughts (and feel free to continue to do so). In everything I read and re-read (well accept for one :) I say to myself, "Ah ha, yes yes, I feel that same way, too!" It so helps in my processing to have your words, thoughts, and prayers in my heart as I expand my conscious connection with the variety of emotions and contemplations I am experiencing. And I think that having the ability to connect this way is helping others in their processing, and for that I'm also thankful and humbled. And I am so in awe of what great, strong, loving, honest, vulnerable, committed, admirable group of people God has provided in my circle of life. Wow!

And for two nights now as I gone to bed and I reflect on the love and encouragement from family, friends, our youth gathering, and more distant brothers and sisters in Christ ~ so much of it reflected in the comments of the post below ~ I find myself saying, "Thank you, Lord" ... and through that, I have found that the beautiful connection of prayer with my Heavenly Papa has been restored. I'm even back to prayers beyond "thank you" and asking for His truth, love, healing, peace, mercy, grace, and more for myself, those I love dearly, and our church family.

I also feel that I'm getting to a place where I am better able to accept and love and appreciate all the "great parts" of Paul and at the same time, the "bad parts," without feeling that one side must prevail in my conclusions. And that's pretty cool as I'm sure that is exactly how God loves us and how he wants us to love everyone else. Thank you everyone for sharing what you are thinking and feeling (and Ryan & Sarah for your heartfelt posts on your own blogs) which have so helped in allowing this to be revealed to me. And for your prayers for my prayers ~ ahhh, the love and faithfulness of my sisters and brothers in Christ. And I believe that this road through a season of loss and grief is the right road, but I'm confident it's not the last stretch on the map.

I'm excited about tackling the issues of temptation and struggle in my own life more aggressively. It's been so clear this week that hidden pain and struggles not only hurt the person hiding, but also everyone a person loves and then some. I'm really not wanting to go there! I have my struggles, and although not hidden (as I do share with my loved ones and supportive communities), I've not been as diligent in allowing Christ to conquer and prevail over them. Truth, love, pressing on toward the prize ...

And finally, there's still more processing to go. More moodiness, more thinking, more back-n-forth, and more prayer. Lots more love, lots more acceptance. I'm getting closer to accepting, and that's still be joined by the rest of the grief work... and the related tears ...

.....T = To accept the reality of the loss (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)

.....E = Experience the pain of the loss

.....A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object

.....R = Reinvest in the new reality

But more than anything, I'm thankful there is a road that we're on. That our Heavenly Father loves us, accepts us, nurtures us, and guides us. That my family is the most awesome awesome gift He could have ever given me. That our lives have been so changed for good by Paul & Char. That our church had been so stable for so many years. That our friends are so so so dear. That in the midst of pain we learn the most valuable lessons. That the author of truth and love is all you need. Thank you Lord!

.....If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-10)

.....And the prayer offered in faith will make them well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:15-17)

....."A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

Where you are on your journey down this road may be very different (and you may not even be on this road!), and I want you to know that is okay with me :~) I'm hopeful that the lessons I'm learning will strengthen my truth, love, acceptance, and relationship with you. I hope that your heart is being held and nurtured and you are finding places of safety and encouragement. And more so, I'm praying that I will always be that for you, no matter where you are on the road.

Praying for your peace, in truth and love,
Sherrie

My Post of Monday, Nov 6th, after revelations of Ted Haggard from New Life church
(interesting to read now in light of this past week)

My most regular prayer outline... I know it from memory and expand it with current details
(just felt like sharing this again, because it's such a blessing to me now)