Yesterday, I shared with a dearly loved friend of mine some of my thoughts on "Working Moms" ~ she said it needed to be published and I should consider submitting it to Focus on the Family. However, the easiest place to publish is on my own website, so waa-laa here were the quick thoughts that I shared with her :~)
1. The mental health of MOM just might be the most important issue in the whole house ~ so, if you have "issues" you've got to get them figured out and worked out. Depression, guilt, withdrawal, anger, addiction will have significant impacts on the whole family. Mom has got to be able to figure out how to figure out issues, who's issue is who's, what needs to be accepted, what needs to be changed, where the "middle" is ~ 'cuz only Mom has the "mother's heart" that is so critical to the home!
2. Everyone in the household has to help ~ In our family the "rule" is that everyone gets to PLAY the same and has to WORK the same ~ I think that results in BALANCE which is a key issue in life :) For example, when we clean house, WE clean house ~ everyone is involved.
3. For years, we haven't done anything "but church" ~ (really!) Sunday services, AWANA, choir, youth group, retreats, mission trips. In our experience, all the other "extra" activities out there (i.e., sports, etc.) really create far more stress to the family than provide any long-term value to the individual character. BUT, it must be a wonderful church :~) Stability and love at church impacts families greatly. Dave and I drink deeply of the teachings and programs at Grace Chapel and work to let the truths change our lives. (One of the things that we so appreciate about Grace is the long-term commitment of Pastor Paul & Char (yeah!) and the "lack of drama" ~ I'm sure there is drama, but the church seems to do well at addressing the dramatic situation and not letting it become the focus of the church members. We really like that!)
4. We invest heavily in our neighborhood and all their families ~ this allows really good quality relationships among the parents and the kids and this has resulted in our boys having strong, safe, supportive relationships and the ability to be outside playing lots and lots and lots (I remember when Ryan & Drew spent 8 hour days playing rollerblade hockey in the cul-de-sac :)
5. It's best to figure out the "end" first! We prayerfully considered what we wanted for our boys when they were men with the assumption that they need to be raised from the beginning that way (as they won't magically change at age 18 and be someone all together different). We are raising our boys to know the Lord and to be good husbands, fathers, friends, and employees. We decided that with the help of the Lord, that there are two main characteristics they need (regardless of their wide-ranging talents & personalities): Self-Discipline and Kindness to Others ... and those have been what we come back to in our parenting discussion and decisions. For us, it's got to be simple, and that's about as simple as we could get it!
6. Everyone needs a healthy balance of ACCEPTANCE for who they are and CHALLENGE for being their best ~ this is a tightrope that we walk constantly with each other and with each of our kids. It comes back to the Balance thing ... really such a key feature of life!
7. I think that the Lord gets a big kick out of just loving on us. I really do see Him as sprinkling blessing after blessing upon us with an open hand and His love. So, even after writing all the above, it really does come down to Him. He "wired" each of our boys in their own unique way. He found us through Grace Chapel. He has given us wisdom and the lessons above. He gives us obstacles and challenges to teach and to grow us. He loves and forgives us as we stumble through.
Love, Peace, Joy ~ ahhh the fruit of the Spirit!
Hallelujah Praise the Lord!
Love, Sherrie
1 comment:
I received my first "rejection letter" from Focus on the Family today.
It said, "Thank you for writing to Focus on the Family. Your interest in our ministry is much appreciated.
"We were pleased to have an opportunity to evaluate the article discussing working mothers that you submitted to Focus on the Family magazine. It's clear that you have put a great deal of work into your proposal, and we want you to know that our editorial staff has given it the thorough and careful consideration it deserves. We regret to inform you that, athough we believe you have talent and your message has merit, we have been unable to match your piece with an available slot in our editorial schedule. Most of our features are generated within the ministry, and we very rarely have room for unsolicited material. We're sorry to disappoint you.
"We hope this response won't discourage you from making futher efforts to publish your work. There are many other publications, Christian and secular, that might find it interesting. We're sorry we can't be of further help to you at this time. May the Lord bless you and guide you as you commit your efforts to Him."
... I thought that was the nicest "no thank you" I've ever read :~)
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